It's Not Goodbye

If you're wondering where I've been for the last month and half, I've been dealing with a few personal matters and slowly but surely working on the new site I promised you all. And it's finally here. It will be going live in August! Sadly this blog ends here, but there's a new chapter of Sit & Stay Awhile and it's finally happening next week with original content and many series that started here! This blog will remain active for you all if you ever need to look back or reference something. For all things new visit the new site. :) 

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Lifestyle Changes

One of the biggest challenges I intend to work on over the summer is trying to work out a little more. I've never really a been a gym person, I prefer being outside and in the pool. With the intention of moving my body a little more, I'm also tackling my diet and weight. Not that I have a horrible diet, but carbs have become a staple in my daily eating habits and it's time to change that. Now that I'm entering my thirties, I'm trying to make my health more of a priority. After a solid week of researching and reading up on Ketosis, I'm cutting off carbs and sugar for eight weeks and focusing more healthy fats, proteins and veggies. Have you tried the Keto Diet? Would you consider it? What are some of your healthy habits, tips and tricks? I would love to hear your thoughts on how you balance work, food and exercise! 

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Let's Be Classy

It's only been a few days but I'm still peeved by a particular scene from the documentary, Always at the Carlyle. Honestly, it's disheartening, Dwight Owsley who had been the head concierge for more thirty years retired in 2014 and his reason for leaving was a sad one. He spoke of Old New York. A time where dignity, class, modesty and kindness were very much apart of our culture. In the end, I couldn't help but think why are these ideals no longer apart of our society? I once received a rose and a letter from the maintenance staff at my apartment complex all because I smiled and said good morning to him. If common courtesies are no longer apart of our day to day life, then we have a serious problem! These are ten old but updated ways of being a classy and a decent person!   

 Strong and Confident Posture - Good posture shows respect to others. 

 Define Your Sense of Style - a black slack and white blouse go a long way. If you're not really sure what your style is stick to the basics, black, navy, grey and white. You will look sharp every time. I'm impartial to these minnie pants, they're a fitting pair of pants but they make you look great. Also don't skimp on grooming! There are so many women I know who don't even brush their hair. Brush your hair, put on makeup (if you don't like makeup, you can wash your face and apply a moisturizer), make sure our outfit matches and take a second glance at yourself before you leave the house!

 Read Every Day & Travel Often -  The best thing you can do in this life is to read every day, whether it's a chapter or an entire book and travel often. Whether its abroad or a town thirty minutes away! Dream, wander and discover. 

 Remember Kindness is Free - (Now this is one I just don't get!) You never know what other people are going through. Whether they are having a good day or a horrible one even a simple smile to a stranger can go a long way. We need more kind and generous people in the world, stop being selfish and rude.

 Treat others as equals, regardless of status, social class or personality type! 

 A Strong Voice - It is your right as a human being to speak up, use your voice and stand up for what you believe in. And if you like to swear - keep that at home, not in public! 

7. A Firm Handshake -  When introducing yourself, let the other person know you're interested in them. A firm handshake means your open to a new experience and that you are excited for a new relationship. It says a lot about your personality.

 Be Polite - This goes hand in hand with kindness and treating others with respect but don't forget your manners. Say "please," "thank you," "have a good day" and "your welcome." And always look people in the eye when you're talking to them.

 Collaboration over Competition -  If you want to be scientific with this one then yes sex and biology is apart of the conversation. But let's talk behavior and psychology. We just do better as a society and global community when we collaborate. Why do we need to compete? Yes it makes us stronger and better but I'd rather have a happy and healthy society, wouldn't you?!   

 Be An Active Listener - (This one is extra important) Listen, listen, listen! I've been talked over my entire life and because of that so many people called me shy when I was younger. The "shy" label definitely bothered me, but instead of dwelling on it I grew to become a listener. And now that we live in society where even listening to people seems to be a problem, I embrace this quality. So many people tell me I should have been a therapist (and therefore a lot of people trust me and what I have to say), it's not that I should be a therapist, more people need to be attentive listeners. 

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An Evening by the Pool

I'm trying to make more of an effort to spend time outside. As a homebody I tend to live in comfy lounge attire and hang out indoors by the tv, playing with my sister's cats or reading in my room on my bed. Part of it is that I want to be a little lazy on the weekends. Ever since I started going to the park on Sunday morning to read last year, I felt better. Being quiet and leading a five minute calming meditation or breathing routine to allow yourself to take in the smells and sounds of nature, it's just so uplifting and relaxing. Before it starts to get too hot, my goal is to spend one or two evenings out by the pool after getting home from work. What's one thing you want to work on this summer? 

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This Summer

This time last year, I started a quarterly goal setting series. We talked about things like memorizing and reading more poems, watching less television and other small intentions. Now that I'm in my thirties and have a career (and in just a matter of a few weeks I'll have a new little niece or nephew), it's about slowing down and enjoying the things I have. When I graduated from college almost ten years ago, I hit the ground running. I felt behind in life so the first job I took I became obsessive and inevitably turned into a workaholic. I said yes to everything, my life became my job and pleasing others was way more important than my health and well being. Most of my twenties were a blur. 

 Now that I am entering a new decade, I want to be able to live a more meaningful life and to be happy with myself. The other night as I lay restless in bed a memory from college popped into my head. I was walking back to my dorm room after class one grey and chilly afternoon, I couldn't have been more happy, I had finally figured out my major and made some real friends, I told myself no matter where you end up in life, remember to be kind, ambitious and happy. It's taken a little while to sort out my priorities, but now that I'm in a good place, I'm ready to live a more fulfilling life. Check in tomorrow to see my first goal for the summer! 

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Let's Connect

If you've been wondering where I am since I've only been posting a few days a week, here's the lowdown. While work does continue to take up a lot of my time, I have taken on a few projects outside of my 9 to 5 job. I promise the blog will become more of a priority just as soon as I can transfer over 3000+ posts without issues to the new site. A friend and I started a local chapter of a national book club in which we host twice a month and write a newsletter for; our Facebook community is the best, I'm not even kidding. Last year, two coworkers and I started a bookish podcast which is also very active on social media and on our site, we love posting for giveaways so always check in over at The Librarians Suggest. Make sure to check us out on all the platforms.

A New Year

There once was a girl sitting at her desk with a blank document opened on her computer. Her eyes would venture from the blank screen to the window and out into the moonlit night, staring up at a lit up cross a top a hiking trial. She was ambitious, she was creative and she was fiddling with the chain of her necklace on the verge of tears wondering if she would ever amount to anything. After a few hours of Fran Fine's fashion choices in The Nanny, her third glass of wine, a christmas cookie and contemplating whether or not she should send an email, she hit submit and waited. 

A day (or two) later, she got a response and quickly got to work. That eventually led to the founding of the Palm Springs chapter of Silent Book Club,The Librarians Suggest and other projects. The following year would be the year of YES. And while YES can be the beginning of wonderful things ahead, you have to sacrifice a lot.  Self care becomes less a priority and relationships can become rocky. It was also the year of  testing - testing boundaries, testing strength and testing yourself. It was a good year but a hard one too, every moment was monumental. The girl's strength wavered and exhaustion took over quickly.  Many evenings were filled with creating new content, meetings, editing, reading through sixty books for book clubs, work and personal growth, planning out and starting a podcast, collaborations, more editing, and working overtime. Blending your profession, your side hustle and your personal life is not exactly a good thing, but when your passionate you can't help it.

To many sleepless (and restless) nights and all the projects that made it (but were also very successful throughout the year) to the end of 2017, I'm the happiest person in the world. Well, besides the whole sleep depravity thing.  Here's to another year of yes but taking better care of myself, implementing morning/evening routines and continuing my intention of pursuing inner strength. To new things ahead, let's celebrate the fact that 2018 will be a great year!
   

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30 Things I've Learned

I really wanted to make this post in video form so that would be a little more personal but with the holidays and work, there was just not enough time. In thirty years of living, these are some of the most important things I've learned along the way. What are the mot valuable lessons you've learned in your life? The most important one on this list that I always try to remember, 'Be nice, even when it's hard.'  

So, I'm Turning 30

(I wouldn't necessarily say I'm happy, but I'm getting there.)

So I'm turning thirty in three days and even though it is just a number there are so many feelings about turning a year older this year. Not that it's my 'scary age' but I am definitely having a hard time grasping that A. I'll be 30 and B. I'm nowhere near where I thought I'd be at this age. I remember around February of last year I was in the shower contemplating every life choice I'd ever made, which is somewhat normal and regular for me. It usually leads to panic and anxiety but then is usually calmed with a glass of wine. Normally, I have music or the television playing in the background but I was so consumed in all these thoughts that I broke down crying, alone in my shower. I felt alone, unaccomplished and weak, I had just found out I didn't get a job I really wanted. It went to someone who had two masters degrees instead of just one.

 I beat myself to death over this, I'll never be good enough. I'll never be enough, period! Someone is always better than me. There's a lot of pent up frustration and anxiety when it comes to my work life and that rage turns into self criticism and destruction. I wanted more out of my life and I expected so much from myself, I didn't understand why I wasn't where I wanted to be. And even though I'm still waiting for that dream job, I realize now I could shake my 28 year old self. There were so many great things that happened to me in the last two years but I was so blinded by fear, anger and anxiety that I couldn't see all the wonderful things that were happening in my life at the time. 

 So with all these pent up emotions, I'm trying to accept my 30th birthday and start this new chapter with a new appreciation for life and lots of self care (and no it is not selfish, we'll talk about at length in upcoming posts). Besides, 30 is the new 20 - haven't you heard?

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Studying Bemelmans

If you would have asked me seven years what I expected as far as a career, I would have never guessed I would have ended up in libraries. But leave it to an unemployed history major in the heart of New York at an exhibit featuring the last hundred years in children's literature for me to have that epiphany moment. The home to Patience and Fortitude and being in the right place at the right time, I fell in love with children's literature, art/illustration and early twentieth century New York, circa Bemelmans, de Wolf and Fleur Cowles, when publishing ruled the world. The initial entrance into the grand library was like a welcome home, and from that point until now I'm in a constant state of amazement because libraries are a wonderful thing. I can't speak for other librarians but I never tire of research, in fact it invigorates me. My fascination and love for picture books has never waned from childhood. I'm so grateful my parents stayed up just to read me stories whether it was my mom reading Eloise for the hundredth time or my six foot dad squeezing in the middle of my sister and I reading Harry Potter under the covers with us. You could call it a love affair, my books and I. It's been a thirty year relationship and I hope that passion never dies. To artists and storytellers like Ludwig Bemelmans, Hilary Knight, Emily Arnold McCully, Arnold Lobel and Barbara Cooney, this post; well almost the entirety of this blog is dedicated to you!   

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Life Lately

Last month I picked up this book thinking what a great cover, little did I know it would become my adult version of Eat, Pray, Love. And I only say that because I was introduced to Liz Gilbert's book as sophomore in high school. My copy of Material Girl, Mystical World is already dogeared and filled with post-its! What are you reading? 

When I got back from Europe, I went through Madeline phase and came across this collectible item. As I started searching deeper, I found a treasure trove of storybook characters and found another childhood favorite. 

Anyone who knows me well, knows I'm a Kate Spade addict. I own everything from stationary to books, plates, mugs and bags. These mugs are everything and I pretty much transport them from work to home on the regular! 

When I'm searching for new beats to listen too, I turn to Sarah Tolzmann. We speak the same language when it comes to music :)

If you were a fan of The Toast and own your copy of Texts from Jane Eyre, then you need to check out Mallory's latest endeavor, Dear Prudence. A somewhat new podcast that I've just been introduced too. I think you'll be pretty happy with this podcast. 

When it comes to Mexican Food, nowhere in the desert beats Taqueria Sinaloense. Whenever you're in Palm Desert just look for this small hole in wall place. I've been eating here for years, literally nothing compares to the authentic food and the incredibly sweet staff at this restaurant. 

I started paying attention to H&M bralettes a few weeks ago and now I want them all! 

A highlighter and gel cream that is a must for dewy healthy looking skin. 

My cousin got me on this ice cream months ago, I don't feel so bad indulging in this soy goodness! 

 

Friday Morning

Despite it being a busy couple weeks between the holidays, celebrating birthdays (my parents really needed to think about having a family, four out of five members of our family have birthdays literally in the middle of Thanksgiving, through the winter holidays all until the last week of January), working and moving, let's just say I've been sleeping like a baby for the last couple weeks. So what are my New Years plans? I'm moving into a new place and I haven't been this excited in awhile. This move signifies so much more than just physically moving my stuff from one place to another, it's also a new start to a new year. And I couldn't be more ready for change than I am right now. So wherever you are in the world, Happy New Year and I'll see you back here next week for our first weekly roundup of the 31 Day Challenge. 

Nights of Neon

The Breakfast Board

On Traveling Alone

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New Year Intentions

Every year we make long lists of all the things we wish (and hope) to accomplish in the coming year. Some of us will actually see each goal through while most of us will typically give up in a month or even just a few weeks. I've made many resolutions over the years, I've stuck to some and gave up on others. Instead of coming up with a list a mile long, I'm focusing on one thing this year, an intention. An intention of strength - physically, mentally and spiritually. I'm not as active as I once was, I use to swim four miles every night but  then college happened. I used to be fit and healthy, that hasn't been the case so much over the last six years. So instead of focusing on the word (or idea of) exercising, I'm focusing on gaining back physical strength. 

I've never gone in full detail but this has been one of the toughest years as far as my career goes. And without turning this post in a negative one, I want to focus on gaining mental and spiritual strength. I have struggled to maintain a healthy lifestyle, even after grad school. I have forced myself to work ten to twelve hour days and I pretty much will do anything that is asked of me (or willingly take on more responsibility and duties) just to add it to my resume. I no longer work because I love what I'm doing, I work to please others (and I don't mean the customers) and to make sure I'm providing the best service for our patrons. I grew up wanting to find something that I truly loved doing, to work just for a paycheck and hate my job that is not the philosophy I grew up on. My parents never pressured me to go into certain industries, they believed in me and I was lucky I found something I loved and was really good at. But over the last year and a half, I just feel lost, even defeated. Exhaustion has taken over, I've lost all confidence and belief in myself. I want it back! I'm not saying 2017 is going to be the year but I am hoping I can gain some of the strength I've lost over the few years. 

What are you looking forward too in the coming year? 

What is your goal or resolution you want to work on?

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Saturday Happy

I've been so busy with this week that I completely forgot about a special day. I didn't celebrate the fact that this blog has been running for six years!!! Despite it being an interesting and trying year I unfortunately had to take a semi-break from the blog. It's still something very important and dear to me, never did I think it would last this long. But for those who have stuck around and continue to read, I'm hoping to expand on the blog in the coming year. I've kept it secret for a while, but it's my resolution for the new year to sort of intertwine the blog into my career. So let's keep our fingers crossed for a brighter future :) 

Happy Happy Birthday Sit and Stay Awhile!!!!

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Things to Remember

Two things to remember in work and in life, 

take care of your thoughts when you are alone

and you words when you're with people. 

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Do Your Thing

I use to dread going home after work because that meant getting back online and entering the classroom. There was nothing soothing about my evening. Dinner was always rushed and falling asleep while reading for an assignment was a regular occurrence. It's barely been two months since graduating and I already feel like a completely different person. I still have a lot to work on and I constantly have to remind myself to relax with my constantly busy schedule whether its work/blog related or trying to structure a productive evening. I realize now that time is precious and I don't want to waste a minute of it, so going with the flow is a little more than challenging during the week.

When I come home, I leave everything at the front door -  my keys, my shoes and whatever anxieties I have about work. I found a routine that works for me and acts like a meditation without closing my eyes and crossing my legs. After I kick off my shoes and think about the joy mentioned in Marie Kondo's book, The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, my mind is at ease. I head straight for the pool and kick back, I've read more books in the last two months than I've read in a year, I work on puzzles, I am way more conscious about what I eat, I've cleared out my entire apartment and the floors have never looked so clean or spacious. Coming home and looking into corners or spots where I used to pile up my belongings, it really elevates my mood, I'm not kidding!  Having time to find yourself and do the things you love is more than important, it's essential to leading a happy and healthy life. Now, when the work day is over, I can't wait to get home and do my thing.

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Five Things Around the House

 Five Things I Always Do Around the House:

(And things I need to work on a little more)

 1. Never leave the dinner pans and dishes out overnight.

Since I have pots and pans that cannot be cleaned in the dishwater, I clean as I cook. By the time dinner is done, you don't have a big mess to clean up.  My mom taught me this trick.

2. Always dry dishes immediately instead of having a permanently filled dish rack.

With a a few old pots, I use to be bad about not completely drying lids and pans. The stained and dry water spots drive me crazy, so I'm trying to be better about drying and putting them away right after dinner.

3. Always keep a carafe of water on my bedside table in the evening.

I cannot go to sleep without having a glass of water. Between going up and down the stairs multiple times in the evening to refill my water, it's time to keep a carafe on my side table.

 

4. Pick up everything off the floor.

As a librarian, I am notorious for bringing a million books home every night. Leaned up against dressers, the bedside table and bookcases, I need to learn to only bring a few home at a time. I also take my shoes off near the doorway, I'm making more of an effort during my evening cleaning routine to pick up everything left on the floor.

5.   Do something relaxing that does not include a screen. I find this task to be a struggle. After my shower, I check all social media for thirty minutes and then I move on to my book, I color or draw or work on a puzzle.

What are a few things you do everyday around your house?!

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What My Day Looks Like

Now that I have more than five minutes to myself after spending the last eight years in college and grad school, I don't want to waste a minute of my time. Although I'm getting rest and enjoying down time, it's hard to go to sleep knowing I have all this free time to do whatever I want. This is what my day looks like in a nutshell: 

5:30 a.m. - Get up and go on a walk.

6:45 - 7: :30 a.m. - Put on makeup, listen to music, do a little dance and get ready for work.

7:50 a.m. - Eat breakfast, make tea for the week and grab my already made lunch.

(Sundays are for food prep)

8:30 - 6 p.m. - Head to work: email, network, collaborate, take notes in meetings, create programs, collection development and of course catch up on podcasts on my lunch break. 

6:55 p.m. - Start dinner, which by the way loving my free month of Blue Apron recipes. 

7:35 pm. - French Lessons. 

8:30 p.m. - Get inspired with half an hour of a few TED Talks. 

9 p.m. - Tending to my long list of books to read. Or catching up on shows, I just started Game of Thrones, I know!!! Can we talk about Emilia Clark, she is my everything!!!

10 p.m. - Yoga Sleep Sequence

10: 45 p.m. - Hit the sheets

Lessons We Learned From Mary Poppins

Five Lessons We Learned from Mary Poppins:

(and should not forget)

1. Strive to be practically perfect in every way. I'm not saying to be perfect but set the bar high for yourself and strive to meet your goals, both big and small.

2.  In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun.  Even if you absolutely love your job, there are going to be projects or tasks you don't enjoy. Change your perspective on whatever you are working on and make the job a little more fun. 

3. The importance of laughter. 

4. Use your imagination.  This one is really important especially for kids today. With so much information easily available, why bother?! 

5.You don't have to always explain yourself. Although a bold statement, you don’t have to explain all of your decisions and why you like certain things and dislike others. You get to be who you are without always explaining yourself.

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Right Before Bed

Five Things I Do Right Before Bed: 

 Read (and not on a tablet). Whether it's a magazine, a children's book or a collection of short stories (I've been reading Sloane Crosley, Katharine Heiny, Amber Sparks and Lorrie Moore), I make sure to read right before going to sleep. It relaxes my mind and I usually fall asleep before the end of the chapter. 

I've been doing yoga on and off for ten years. And since I've been stressed and have had a hard time getting to sleep, ten to fifteen minutes of a nice Ashtanga Vinyasa (the first sequence shown, if you really want to know) sequence puts my body at ease. I get in bed, roll over and I'm out. 

Take deep breaths!! I read this article about the 4-7-8 Breathing Technique over a year ago, I swear by this mini breathing routine. It takes a few days for your body to get use to it but afterwards, you will fall asleep quickly and sleep soundly. 

Ted Talks. I've recently started listening to Ted Talks again. I downloaded the app, so it's easy to just open it up, find something I'm in the mood to learn about or need to get motivated and chill for second. The great thing, you don't have to watch it! If you want to close your eyes and listen, go right ahead.

The one thing I'm really looking forward to about school being over is disconnecting from my devices when I get home from work. I'm on the computer practically the entire day unless I'm in the stacks studying a collection. After three emails about a grade, my professor had to tell me to chill out and be patient. I've been coloring and sketching and it's really helped with my patience.

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